Emergence: Chapter 37

The nights were dark, and no stars could be seen. No light could be seen after Carnat turned the lights off. Ash lay awake every night, not trusting the darkness, perhaps even fearing it. Sometimes he closed his eyes and watched the dreams unfold before him, but he could not relax at night. He slept in the evenings or mornings, requesting Carnat to look over him, which he agreed to do. Ash wasn't sure why he was afraid of the dark, but he assumed it stayed with him from what he referred to as his “past-life”.

Hearing Carnat moving, Ash nudged him. “Carnat.”

“What?” Carnat slurred, still half-asleep. “Ash?”

“Why are people afraid of the dark?” Ash stammered.

“Well...” Carnat sighed. “From what I understand, you're no technically afraid of the dark, you're afraid of whatever you associate with darkness.”

Ash shrugged. “I don't know what I associate with darkness; I think it was from...before.”

Carnat tutted. “I'd hoped you'd remembered something by now; after all this build-up, the truth's bound to be disappointing.”

Ash chuckled. “You're probably right. Well, disappointing for you. I don't really see my life being that eventful.”

“Until you wound up on Rat'hak without any memory.” Carnat's sarcasm dripped through his voice. “And however you ended up here. And whatever you fear in the dark.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Ash nodded in agreement.

“Any ideas?” Carnat asked.

It took Ash a moment to realise that Carnat was asking about his fear. “I think it was the last thing I saw before my memories were lost. There are faceless men in my dreams, surrounded by darkness.”

“Are you afraid of them?” Carnat sounded uncertain. “Or of the fact that you came here in darkness?”

Ash considered it. “Probably both.”

Carnat nodded. “Yep, that's about right. Anyway, enough of that crap, I'm hungry.”

As Carnat said that, Ash's stomach rumbled. “Breakfast sounds good.”

There was already a plate of generic food cubes in front of the door, which cheered Ash up; usually, they'd have to ask and barter with the guards. “You know, you can fault this place all you like, but at least we get three meals a day.” Ash observed, taking a cube.

“Shit meals.”

“Even so, they're better than nothing.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Ash popped the cube into his mouth, chewing the soft and slightly moist lump. Painstakingly, he swallowed with a gulp. “Ugh, everytime they are worse than I remember.”

Carnat agreed. “See? Shit meals.”

Ash gave a sharp laugh. “Yeah, they are.”

Silence as they ate. Carnat ate quickly to get the taste over and done with, but Ash ate slowly, not wanting to carry on tasting them.

When the plate was empty, Ash belched and asked Carnat a question. “We got any more fights soon?”

“Yeah, tomorrow, I think.” Carnat smiled. “Try not to miss your shot this time.”

“I'll try.” Ash hung his head. “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine buddy, don't worry about it.” Carnat put a hand on Ash's shoulder.

“No, it's not.” Ash shook his head. “I could've gotten both of us killed.”

Carnat pulled Ash into a hug. “You could have. But you didn't; you got a second chance. Make it count tomorrow.”

“I'll try.”

“No.” Carnat broke away and stared him in the eye. “You will. You won't just try; I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself.” Carnat moved back. “Yuck, that was cringey.”

Ash laughed. “Yeah, it kinda was.” His tone turned more serious. “But thanks. I won't let you down again.”

“No, you won't.”