Random Mini-Rant: Pret a Manger

Ah, Pret. Very nice place “manger”.

First thing's first, is the pretentiousness of the whole thing. It sells a collection of overpriced food to the middle-classes, using the classy “French” title to lure the poor suckers in. Although, we're led to assume that the title translates as “ready to eat”, which is something else I'd like to question about this restaurant; why, if I'm ready to eat, do you think I would want to spend 15 minutes of my life reading a description of a fucking sandwich?! And, dismissing that, shouldn't the name have a question mark? “Are you Pret a Manger?” No. It's just Pret a Manger. It is telling me I'm ready to eat. If I wanted to be told I was “Pret a Manger”, I'd go to France and starve. In England, I want to be told “Ready to Eat”. Does Pret a Manger have stores in France called “Ready to Eat”? No! Because apparently, knowing French means you're cultured. Why, if I want a sammich, do I have to be cultured?

And, staying on the name, “Pret” does not just mean ready. It can mean “loan” or “price” when interpreted as a noun according to Google Translate. Whether this is correct or not doesn't bother me, it backs up my point and it relevant with their prices; you'll need a payday loan just for a Sandwich, don't even get me started on the soup or wraps. It's like Wonga was saying “Hey, we're sick of just having lower classes in here.” And Pret replying “Our sammiches can help you there..."

And I could forgive this, I really could, if it was good food. But it's not. Or if it was in some way French. It might be, I suppose, I don't know French food. There's no frog, I mean. But the combinations are just bizarre. And yes, I'm focusing on the sandwiches. Some, I admit, are great. All-Day Breakfast, Beech Smoked BLT, oh yes. Egg and Tomato on Rye? Noooo. Not for me. I mean, how do you get those tastes to blend? Do you have to eat each ingredient at a time like a three-course meal? They sell Wild Crayfish in their sandwiches! Let me tell you, Pret, when I want to manger some crayfish, I don't want it wild. Dead, or at least dazed, would be preferred. But wild?! My god, I get what they mean, but use a better word, one that doesn't have connotations of needless violence!

I'd rather not have to get a wonga pret just to manger an attacking sandwich in a pretentious restaurant.